How to Move on After Infidelity

Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful is devastating and traumatic. It can shatter your trust and leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, angry, and confused. However, it is possible to move on from infidelity and be happy single or in re-building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This blog post highlights some strategies for moving on when your partner has been unfaithful.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

The first step towards moving on from infidelity is to allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with it. This may include anger, sadness, hurt, and betrayal. It's important to acknowledge these emotions and give yourself permission to feel them, rather than trying to suppress them or pretend that everything is okay. This is important because if you don’t do this, unresolved emotions can lead to more pain - for yourself and sometimes for those around you.

Make a decision and communicate with your partner

When infidelity occurs, it can stop us in our tracks and make us question everything that we have ever thought about our relationship, especially when the infidelity comes as a total surprise. It is important to decide what you would like to do. For many people, this means the end of a relationship, whilst for others it may mean taking a break or trying to rebuild the relationship. Either way, once a decision is made, communication is essential, whether it is to clarify how to separate or as a first step to rebuilding trust and repairing the relationship after infidelity. It's important to have an honest and open conversation with your partner about what happened, how you feel, and what you want or do not want from them moving forward, if anything at all. This can be a very difficult conversation, but it's important to be clear and direct about your feelings and expectations.

Seek support

Dealing with infidelity can be overwhelming, and it's important to seek support from a therapist. Talking to an expert can help give a different perspective and can importantly help you process your emotions and gain clarity about your next steps. Getting support from friends and family can certainly be helpful but it is important to remember that the people closest to us do not have the objective or professional perspective that a psychologist possesses.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential to rebuilding trust after infidelity. This may include discussing your expectations for your partner's behaviour, setting limits on contact with the person they were unfaithful with, taking a break from the relationship to focus on yourself or leaving the relationship all together.

Be kind to yourself

Taking care of yourself is essential during this challenging time. This means that you need to allow yourself time to process what has happened and not be hard on yourself. This may also include practicing self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family. It's important to prioritize your mental and physical health to help you cope with the stress and emotional turmoil that come with infidelity.

Consider couples therapy

Couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through infidelity and rebuild the relationship. A trained therapist can provide a neutral and safe space to discuss your concerns, help you communicate effectively, and work through any underlying issues that may have contributed to the infidelity. I offer couples therapy that can help couples move forward peacefully with their lives.

Moving on after infidelity is a challenging and emotional process, but it is possible to rebuild a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your partner. By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, communicating openly with your partner, seeking support, setting boundaries, taking care of yourself, and considering couples therapy, you can begin the journey towards healing and forgiveness.